Teenage Depression
By: Christine B. Taylor
"I feel so hopeless." "They all hate me." "I
even hate myself, how can I get out of this lousy hole?" "I can't
study." "I don't have any friends!"
Does this sound familiar? Have you heard these words coming from
your teenager?
Depression is more common than previously believed among adolescents.
A teenager who seems withdrawn and lonely is in most cases going through
a period of "intense problem solving." However, for some teens this is a
more serious problem, and they can even turn suicidal.
Adolescents with depressive illness feel sad and may consistently
understand their plight as hopeless. They may not be comforted by
relationships with family and friends. Adolescents with a depressive
illness will frequently show poor concentration, extreme difficulty
in self-starting, striking changes in thinking and behaving, often
times trouble sleeping through the night and changes in their eating
patterns. They may feel tired, dragged out, or conversely, have
excessive nervous energy. They may feel guilty or worthless. An
adolescent with a depressive illness, if not given the help they
need, may turn to suicide.
Normally, saddened adolescents complain or talk about their sadness
while they try and do something about it. Teens, in general, will push
away their parents and rely more on relationships with peers. The
difference between "normal" adolescent sadness and clinical depression
is based on the time, degree, and amount of deviation from the youth's
usual personality and behavior.
Teenagers can become unhappy for many reasons. Teenagers who become
very stressed will sometimes become depressed often, this will happen
in a family in which other family members, regular or grandparents,
are or have been depressed.
Use positive discipline. Shame and punishment instead of positive reinforcement may leave feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy in children's lives.
Avoid overprotecting and over directing. Protecting children from too many things, not letting them make a mistake, and directing everything they should and shouldn't be doing comes across to children as their parent's lack of faith in their ability to do anything for themselves.
Don't expect absolute compliance.
Don't use your child to fulfill your own unachieved goals.
Again, it is common for teens to feel unhappy from
time to time. However, your teen may be suffering from clinical depression
if you notice that he or she experiences five or more of the following
thoughts, feelings and behaviors for two weeks or longer.
Crying, sadness or a very cranky mood
Withdrawing (avoiding friends, activities and social events)
Sleeping problems
Eating problems
Declining schoolwork
Nervous energy or a lack of energy
Sense of low self-worth or guilt
Fatigue
Preoccupation with death, dying, or wanting to be dead
If a teen with depressive illness does not receive help,
he or she may turn to suicide as an escape. Four main danger signals of suicide
are: 1) threats or talk of killing oneself; 2) preparing for death--giving away
prized possessions, making a will, farewell letters, or saying goodbye; 3)
talking like there is no hope for the future; 4) acting or talking like not
a single person cares, completely giving up oneself and others. Teens showing
any of these suicide danger signals should be taken seriously and receive
help from a qualified professional.
If you believe your teenager may be suffering from a clinical depression,
a thorough evaluation by a mental health professional experienced in this
area is recommended. Additionally you can:
Be willing to listen. Take the time out to really pay attention. You don't
have to have all the answers. Just listen.
Take the problem seriously. The problem may not be important to you, but
may be to them. Show your teen that you care, and you want to understand.
Don't put them down. It doesn't help teenagers to hear you say "Keep your
chin up. Tomorrow will be a better day!" Their problem is real to them.
Encourage them to talk to other people as well as to you. Offer to go
along with them to an adult friend they can trust.
Offer to join the person in some activity they normally enjoy. They
need a chance to have some fun and get their mind cleared.
Let them know you care. They may try to put you off. Stay in touch.
Invite them to do things with you. Don't force them to be cheerful.
Stick with them.
Offer help early. Offering to help early on may prevent the teenager
from sinking into a deeper depression.
Help to understand the cause of distress. Where is the distress coming
from? Understanding the source of distress is one of the best means of
freeing ourselves from its effects.
Expect rebuffs. If you are trying to communicate or support a depressed
youth, don't be surprised if the responses you get are irritable and
negative. Don't take them personally. Patience is an important attribute.
It is important to remember that you cannot be responsible for another
person's actions when they are stressed, depressed or suicidal. What you
can do is be a caring responsible friend during the hard times. You can
listen to their concerns, support them and get skilled help.
References
Gross, Leonard H., (1981). "The Parents' Guide to
Teenagers". New York, MacMillan Publishing.
Walker, Joyce, (1986). "Adolescent Stress and Depression". University
of Minnesota, Minnesota Extension Service.
Walker, Joyce, (1985). "Helping Friends in Trouble: Stress, Depression
and Suicide". University of Minnesota, Minnesota Extension Service.
Pitzer, Ronald L., (1985). "Supporting Distressed Young People". University
of Minnesota, Minnesota Extension Service.
Winship, Elizabeth C., (1983). "Reaching Your Teenager". Boston,
Houghton, Mifflin.
Wolf, Anthony E., (1991). "Get Out of My Life--But First Could You Drive
Me and Cheryle to the Mall?" New York, Noonday Press.
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